Kids develop fast

Kids develop fast and their behavior changes dramatically. This surprises and delights a ordinary person used to seeing adults with the predictable behaviors.

A few month ago, my son went through the possessiveness phase. He was about 13 months old. He will not let me go when I will drop him off at daycare. He will not let his mom go while leaving home. Our evenings were runined because he wants to cuddle or stay close to mom and pop. At daycare, i have plan out an extra 10 min just to be with him until he is a tad bit distracted, giving me a small opportunity to slip out. Man, that was hard as it will be weigh on my heart whole day.

Two months later everything has changed. He says bye when i leave him at the daycare or home and does not ask for cuddle as much. He has, however, become very territorial about his stuff. He wants to eat with his own hand and doesn't let anyone close to his food at daycare. He still wakes up in the night a few times. But we do not pay too much attention to his demands for cuddle, training him to take care of himself.

Bored

I am bored.

The kind of bored when you climb Everest and think at the pinnacle - now what. In some way, preparing for IND was an Everest-act for me but now i am there and cannot do much but wait - it is like  "now what" feeling. Achievement is only a disruption - only provides purpose for a time and happiness when we are climbing and have not achieved it. At the moment of triumph - it is only ugly and boring. A lifelong purpose that has milestones as achievements is probably more apt for me. 

Surroundings define us

I read HBR article about how the Queen's office of revenue increased its collection rate from 57% to 83% by employing some psychological techniques. Instead of threatening people to pay up or go to jail they told people that the whole town have paid taxes on time and you are the only one lagging behind. It worked. Amazing....

It makes sense because I can see how it applies to my life. Today a friend of my wife came with family to visit and see fall colors. They have similar family as our - husband, wife and son. Both husband and wife work - like my family. Husband works from home like my wife does. Same age, one kid of similar age. Result - we were fast to identify ourselves with one another. In such situations it is easy to get impressed with the other person and come to expect from the partner what other partner is doing in other marriage. A side effect of being too similar. So it goes that my wife's friend's husband was very good with kid's chores. I am not so good but more than make up on other fronts (my wife agrees). By the second day, my wife was upset on many things which she always passed on before. We had a small fight about it. I reminded her about this article and how it is very easy to get influenced by those surrounding us. By the end of the day, she realized her mistake and made up. I am glad that the article helped.

I learn from this episode how much people and place influence us. We, as human beings, are conformists. We are like water that takes the shape of the vessels it is poured in. Except in our case, we have a choice of vessels. The people we are with and structure we inhibit ultimately decides our destiny.

Nobody to share to......

When I share an achievement with friends and family, those who know what it means are generally those who are not very happy about it. My parents are happy but most of my friends are not happy they are often jealous. I will admit that I am jealous too when some friends of mine achieve success beyond what I think they are capable of. This realization ultimately makes me not to share things with friends and people who I know will not be enjoy it.